Hopeless… Aimless… Soulless
Hopeless… Aimless…. Soulless, the new Greyfade Ep, will be released next week. Another chapter of Greyfade’s life will be closed, forever, and a mysterious, uncharted new one will open.
There is a bitter-sweet feeling that I get once an album (or a single) is done and all the preparations and baggage (artwork, mixing, mastering, distribution, promo videos, marketing…) that come along with it are over. For now, I will digress a little bit but I will come back to that point later on.
I can’t clearly explain the feeling that I get when I listen to a finished, recorded song of mine for the very first time. A vast array of thoughts and questions come to mind during every second of listening to the song as it plays. Happiness, ecstasy, disbelief, self-doubt, self criticism, enjoyment, awe, amazement, fulfillment are but a few of the emotions that I sense as the melodies I’ve created and recorded are echoing my ears for the very first time combined and intertwined in one song.
And when the song is over; and If I were to take a picture of my face as the last fading melody dissipates, You will see me smiling with a twinkle in my eyes. These few seconds make all the hard work worthwhile…. Then a brooding emotion comes…. I CAN DO BETTER.
I believe this is the blessed curse of every artist because that way he/she will not rest on his/her laurels and will always have the fire to create again.
I Probably will never write MY perfect song. Each new song and each new release will be one step closer to attaining that goal but MY perfect song will always be two steps farther.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love and enjoy every single song that I’ve written and recorded and, to my ears, they are the best songs out there… So far.
I can never listen to my songs the way another listener does. While some might enjoy a certain guitar solo, I will remember the sensations of my fingers moving along the fretboard of the guitar during the recording sessions. While someone might appreciate a certain verse in one of the lyrics, I will remember the reasons behind me writing it. While some may swing to a certain Riff, I will remember the exact moment of me sitting in my bedroom or the couch jamming on my guitar and finding that Eureka moment.
Whenever someone mentions to me their favorite Greyfade song, millions of nano-second flashbacks play in my head, from the early inceptions of that song to the final stages of recording it.
There is a bitter-sweet feeling that I get once an album (or a single) is released. On one hand, I’m ecstatic that I’m sharing with the world my finest and proudest creation up to that moment and I’m thrilled to hear your thoughts and opinions about it; but on the other hand, I’m sad and scared to know that something so personal that used to belong to me only will now be shared with the rest of the world… From that moment on, these songs belong to you and me.