The Failing

The greatest work of art is something that, once you experience, is etched in your memory forever. It takes you places and leaves you with certain emotions the moment you think of that particular work.

Think about your favorite movie or your favorite song or your favorite book. You feel something just by remembering the title of that book or movie or song, and your mind wanders into certain places.

Disclaimer note here: I’m not saying that my songs are the best songs out there, but I honestly thrive to write the best song there is every time I pick up a guitar or every time I pick up a pen and a paper to write lyrics. Sometimes I hit and, of course, sometimes I miss. However, my intention is to write the best damn song out there, every time.

With certain songs of mine, I call them the “ugly” songs. I thrive to write the most twisted, fucked up song I can come up with at the moment.

Those are songs that will make your eyebrows frown and your nostrils flare when you hear them. I want to make you cringe when you hear them. I want you to feel sad/angry/bad (insert any negative adjective you can think of here) when you listen to them.

Think of it like an Oscar-winning performance by a villain in a movie. How much hate and negativity you feel towards that person. I want you to feel that when you listen to certain songs of mine. 

“The Failing” is one of these songs. When you listen to it, I want you to feel despair and misery. I want you to feel foreboding and nihilism. Simply put, I want you to cringe when you hear it. And the reason for that is I want you to remember this feeling in order to NOT fall into the throes of its misery. In case you’re in that downward spiral, I want you to do something about it before it’s too late.

“The Failing” is a song about someone who has given up on life and has lost hope in everything. Life has taken its toll on that person and, eventually, the feeling of worthlessness, failure, and hate will consume their soul. Hatred towards the world and hatred towards themself.

We all know how this dark story ends. 

I remember going to a “Mayhem” concert in early January and, unbeknownst to me, I guess that’s where the seed for this song was planted.

Metal fans are probably familiar with “Mayhem.” For those who don’t know them, they are a black metal band that hails from Norway. Their history is plagued with suicide, murder, church burnings - all the “happy” stuff you can think of (you can watch series and documentaries about them for more info). 

I listen to Mayhem sporadically and I’ve seen them a couple of times live, but I’m a big fan of Atilla, their current vocalist. What he does with his voice always amazes me.

Anyway, I was jamming on my guitar two days after the concert and I came up with the main riff of the song. I immediately knew that this was going to be one of those “ugly” songs.

Writing the lyrics for the song was hard for me. I chose to write about failure, a topic that I hate with a vengeance. I didn’t have a particular narrative for the story and how it was going to end. But then, as I was writing the words, I said to myself: “Write about someone who you don’t want to be.” The rest is history.

I have a few of these “ugly” songs in my catalogue. “Erosion,” “Malcontent,” and “ Hopeless… Aimless… Soulless” to name a few and, now, this one.

These songs are hard on the ears so to speak. I myself have a hard time listening to them. It’s like watching a gory scene in a movie where you don’t want to look but, at the same time, you can’t stop looking. They are dark, depressing, sad and with no happy endings. Just like the warnings you see on cigarette packs where they choose ugly pictures to enforce the point of the dangers of smoking, I want these ugly songs to enforce a warning of not succumbing to darkness.

“When waking up feels like a chore

 When you wish for nothing anymore

 When you have no dreams to seek

 When your life becomes empty and bleak

 That’s when the darkness calls

 That’s when the failing consumes all”

That’s the closing verse of “The Failing.” It’s one of the darkest things that I’ve written. Do not live its words.

Keep wishing. Keep dreaming. Keep wanting to wake up in the morning. Don’t let your failures lead you to darkness.