Why Greyfade? Why play music? Why spend time practicing, writing, and recording music? There is no money in music. All the big names in the music world are complaining about the decline of the industry. All music experts say that there is no future for up and coming bands and musicians. I’ve heard many advices from people around me telling me to spend my time in something more fruitful, more lucrative. Any expert in economics, math or statistics, even any person who passed the second grade in elementary school, will advise me to spend the hours and money that I spend on music to do something else that can generate me more money. I have the education and the experience to do something else. I’ve studied agriculture engineering and I’ve been working for more than 12 years in the landscape industry.
So back to how this rambling started, Why Greyfade? Why play music?
And the answer is really simple. I… HAVE… TO.
There is no cosmic secret. There is no mystery behind it and I am not answering the calls of some out-worldly God. I simply Have To.
Adjectives used by people that I know to describe me: Funny, quiet, witty, sarcastic, mean, trustworthy, smart, selfish, lovable, shy, dark, calm, cool, arrogant, stubborn, rational, caring, negative, diplomatic, good listener, well rounded (not to mention handsome and good looking (LOL)… I’m a Leo… You get the point)…..
While I may have all the aforementioned characteristics and some more, one thing that I definitely am not is outgoing. I definitely don’t know how to share my emotions and I don’t open up easily to people.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very good with words (arrogance), I mean I write lyrics (and now I’m writing this blog for my new website). But I’m not that extrovert who rings up 10 people to tell them that he had a bad day at work or he is upset because he is fighting with his girlfriend. I have posted less than five posts on my personal Facebook account (All my other social media accounts, Facebook included, are for Greyfade and are used for Greyfade-related purposes). Again, nothing wrong with social media and I have nothing against it. In fact I’m learning to enjoy it more and more nowadays, but I’m not comfortable sharing personal stuff there or anywhere else.
It’s not about the enigma of being mysterious. I don’t want to be the poster boy of the artist/poet/tortured- soul. Because I am not like that. It is just who I am, someone who is uncomfortable in talking about his emotions and his feelings.
Sharing emotions is weakness. it shows vulnerability and flaws to another, and that is weakness. We all have an achilles heal, we all have weakness. However, in my opinion, this weakness should not be revealed.
The only time I am fully open, honest, and outgoing with my emotions is through music. You can feel the anger in the riffs I create. You can feel the despair in my unhallowed screams. You can feel the tears in my wailing guitar solos. You can feel the hate in my growls. You can feel the chaos in my life in the odd-timed songs I create. You can feel the sadness and love in my raspy vocals. You can feel the serenity in my acoustic strumming. You can feel the contradiction in me in Greyfade.
It is ironic that an introvert is sharing his emotions here, but I am talking about my music and Greyfade. Therefore I am comfortable. I can’t keep all my emotions (dark and happy) hidden inside. I have to get it out somehow. I have found my voice in Greyfade. Greyfade has to exist for me to be. It is my voice and I hope it can be the voice for the people that have no means to express themselves. I hope they can relate to the music and take my songs to be their own. They have my blessing to do that.